"We all lived in a golden submarine"
23-27/09/06

You guys are about to get totally envious and wish you could just have been me for a few days. Well, I would if I were you.

A few days ago, Sam and I went on the most amazing holiday ever.

As students we necessarily must endure some financial struggle. Students, who have to wrack their brains for good marks, while working many many hours in retail, where wealth is flaunted right in front of our faces. Students, who have to put up with welfare bureaucracy and pay the rent. Students who cook for themselves and clean after themselves. All of whom would love to be rich for just one day…

The other thing about students is that, when they backpack, they always stay at youth hostels. So we began our weekend, riding the public bus to Nice, where we would catch another public bus to our youth hostel (there never used to be anything wrong with the old pub bus but you’ll see soon why limousines may be more suitable in the future).

Actually, this youth hostel was uniquely amazing (from a poor student perspective). It was right next to the football stadium, and we had a great view of the big soccer game on Saturday night. The hostel also had a kitchen and the most amazing hang out room, filled with stain glass windows left over from the monastery it has since re-posessed. But, it could not prepare us for our upcoming encounter.














Let me tell you about our close encounter of the third kind, with our new friend Rova. He is 30metres long, 8 metres wide. He comes fully equipped with flat screen TVs in each of the five bedrooms, as well as the entertainment room and the lounge room. He can walk on water.














Ok, money is not the most important thing in life.















But a chef is definitely in the top ten. And Rova (the boat, incase you hadn’t picked that up) has two chefs on board. Plus a captain and engineer and steward. All in all we had five crew for six people on the boat we were about to spend four days on.














We began the trip at the port of San Remo in Italy. It’s a nice port, and Sam and I had arrived a little before departure time (mostly because I couldn’t believe that the train from Nice (France) to San Remo (Italy) could take only thirty minutes). We sussed out the boat possibilities and after finding Rova, we calmly and collectedly squealed (ok, it was just me that squealed…a bit like Karen in sea change). We spent our entire coffee talking about the best ways to get rich and new business ideas.

When Sam’s uncle Bruce and aunty Jacqui arrived, along with cousin Amy and relative (possibly Sam’s 12th cousin) Wendy, we were welcomed onto the yacht. Our first glimpses were pretty amazing and unfortunately, no one could pull it together and react as though luxury was normal. Luckily, the chef came out, informed us lunch was ready, and stuff our mouths with food to avoid any further squealing.














We were supposed to sail to Corsica but bad weather meant we would actually struggle to leave San Remo. So we went for a quick hoon around the Italian coast instead. Everyone but Bruce were attracted to the lounging areas at the front of the boat and, despite the roaring seas we all sat there determined to live out our dream on these cushiony things up front. Needless to say, we got absolutely drenched and started dropping like flies. Each running around the back of the boat, inside, downstairs and to the hot shower. Sam, Amy and I managed to hang on the longest but then surrendered in unison when the rain had started and it felt too much like hail to try to overcome with dillusions of tropical, island boat-skipping. By the time we got back to our berth in San Remo, our three course dinner had been prepared and we couldn’t get over the squid, followed by the veal etc etc.














The days continued like this, just in different places. We spent the second night in Monaco (where the owner and his boat reside) and the third night in St Tropez. Our daily schedule was much the same. Wake up around 9am, walk upstairs and eat brekky with everyone, be asked what kind of coffee or tea we would like. After brekky we would sail out, go for a swim ifpossible, eat lunch and then dessert, go back to the sundeck and ask the steward for a cocktail. Etc etc. you know how these luxury lives go.

There were some really strange luxuries that I want to highlight, not to rub it in but just because. At lunch and dinner we were always served one bottle of white wine and one red. Did you know that the red wine goes in the bigger glass…so it can ‘breathe’? I even learned how to swoosh it around like a snob…I mean wine appreciator (sorry Bruce, it’s not that I don’t appreciate wine).

Also, the beds were made in five seconds flat every day. We would go up for a quick brekky and when we would return to our bedroom or bathroom-voila! Even the toilet paper was neatly folded. But what was even weirder was the way in which the day bedding is actually different to the night bedding. That’s right folks, our beds actually got made twice each day in two diff styles just incase we couldn’t remember the time of day. There was always some chocolate sitting on the bed, set for the evening (although the chocolate may have been eaten before bed time…oops) Strange luxuries really.

Although, I’m sure I can overlook/get used to the oddities of luxury.

One of the best things about this holiday was the food. On one level it tasted great (yes Sonya, I kept a record of the menu). But the thing I really loved about being cooked for in that way, combined with the boat size, was that we would all eat together. It was during these times that we had some great conversations.

Bruce is writing his book about father-daughter relationships, so we all became muses for him…in the form of interviewees. Jacqui was quite determined to take two important photos: one of a perfect sunset (the magic of which is undeniably difficult to capture on film) and a photo of all six of us. We sat at the dinner table one night and took about thirty photos on the camera’s timer setting. I’m still not quite sure why we didn’t just get a crew member to do it? Bruce and Jacqui would go off into a corner of the boat to ‘watch the second half of the footy’ for anywhere up to two hours at a time, and by the end of the trip, we were all wondering how long a second half could be??? Amy’s place, found almost immediately after boarding, was in front of the TV upstairs watching one of the music channels. She did not leave the couch and tv until the last moments on the boat. While I was obsessed with my new spot on the front of the boat, legs dangling over the edge. I also found it difficult to ask for any beverage other than a cocktail (hey, a girls got needs). Amy and I later branched out and played cards together, hot chocolate becoming the new beverage of choice. Sam read out aloud the entire play of Don Juan. He said it was work on his French pronunciation. The wind blew his words all the way down to lower deck where Amy and I were trying to concentrate on a serious game of snap. And maybe Sam deserves to be the richest of us all in the future, because every single drink he asked the steward for was not actually do-able and in the end, he had to settle for an affogato with a dash of Baileys. Wendy, who felt like a minority, being surrounded by digital cameras and still carrying one of those old ones (what do you call them again?? J) was often found drinking GTs and telling Bruce that England would win some sport this year (it may have been cricket or rugby but I sort of tuned out). She also had some extreme phobia of animal heads and eyes being visible in her meals. I can understand that.

Bruce and Jacqui were keen to find what was one thing we had learned this year? And after this boat trip, Amy, Sam and I all agreed that being rich is a very good idea.























It was a huge shock catching a public train home from Monaco. They didn’t even have waiters! Or beds! One toilet for fifty people! Sam and I thought, where is our service????!!!!
I guess the trip left us with delusions of grandeur. Perhaps it’s not a great idea to give students one (or five) days of luxury, cos now the bathroom needs cleaning, and we’re definitely not doing it!